Echoes

In the past I've been a prolific writer. I am able to turn out paragraph upon paragraph about things I feel strongly about. Writing, for me, is a form of confirmation: "This is how I see it", or, "This is how I feel it". In this era of being able to put one's thoughts out there for anybody with an Internet connection to see, you'd best be sure if that's A), what you really meant to say, and B), what you want to be seen! (As in publishing, in whatever form it may take.)
With me, there's sometimes a "C)".
C) as in, this is from my heart to the page, and if I write it, then I see it. It's confirmed.
Writing, for me, is a powerful tool. When my Pa was educating me about the tools for survival as a recovering addict, he made it clear that the act of writing - about thoughts, obsessions, feelings - was right up there in my front line of defense. To paraphrase him, by writing about something that was "bugging" me (to put it mildly), I could remove a lot of power from that issue, obsession or feeling - the negative power that I could possibly act out on in ways that wouldn't be good for me (in the long term) or someone else (in the short term). He learned this and other useful things on his Path after he found A.A., and when it was my turn to ask, he gave me the knowledge, as others did before him. It's worked for me very well indeed.
There can be a hard part to it. A painful part.
I have to be honest in what I write. Not a big deal, I like being the way I am, and I can only remain so by staying honest with myself, my Higher Powers and others. This can be painful sometimes as it means I must confront how I feel, as Life On Life's Terms ain't always Sweetness and Light. Certainly not before I cleaned up my act. There was a lot of flotsam left in my wake, which I've attempted to take care of along the way, since; part of the deal.
But the echoes of my actions sometimes return.
I learned quite a while ago that while the actions of others - my Pa, for instance - had an impact on me, the decisions I make are mine and mine alone. Certainly growing up in my father's house had an influence on my behaviors, but I'm no robot: I've made, and still make, decisions based on my knowledge and feelings.
The decisions haven't always been good ones, either! Do I credit my independent thinking for the good ones and blame somebody else for the bad ones?
Nope. I take full responsibility for all the decisions I've made.